How much importance do you give to sex in a marriage? Do you think a marriage should be dissolved only on the basis of not having regular sex? Is sexual intercourse the only reason married partners continue their marriage? What about a marriage that is about 10 or 14 years old, with little or no sex, do you think partners should ignore everything else and walkout of the marriage? I am posing so many questions because somewhere I came across a post that asked does a sexless marriage survive or how to continue a sexless marriage. 

Well, I believe there comes a sexless phase in many married couple’s life after a baby is born to them. Too much time is consumed by the new member and often both parents are tired to the extent that they even forget hugging each other. The fast paced lives of working couples have made it even more difficult to enjoy conjugal bliss. And even if the wife is a stay at home mom, there’s not enough time for the couple to indulge in sweet talk. Work pressure, household responsibility and the daily grind takes a toll on both the partners and the gap between them widen day by day.

However, I believe that no matter how much emphasis we put on sex in a marriage, there are other important things too that make a marriage successful. When sexual intercourse is not possible for any reason, partners should involve in kissing, hugging, sweet talk, and foreplay. They can go for romantic dinner or movies together. Partners should list out activities that they both used to enjoy before the arrival of their baby or just in the beginning of marriage. Make it a point to include those activities even if it is only for a short time. 

I also understand that it is easier said than done. What if nothing of the above works? Is divorce or separation the only way out? No! This is an easy way out. And then you go on the lookout for a new person with new hopes and desires. But there is no guarantee that the new person will match up to your expectations. So it is better to focus on your existing relationship, give it a shot, to try and make it better, and make it work no matter what it takes! Think of ways to communicate to your spouse about things that are making it difficult for either of you to get intimate. Probably, something in the past, hurt, lies, or something else is holding you back to get close to your spouse. Talking it out can sometimes and most of the time helps. When you have an argument or brawl don’t let your ego to hold you back from saying a simple word like sorry.

Walking out of a relationship is always an easy way out, but holding on to something that can be made better with constant care and by showing genuine concern for each other can make a huge difference to a relationship. I am not a relationship expert, neither do I know the equation of all the couples all over, but discussing matters with your spouse, which has been bothering you for days helps!


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