Recently a family friend of mine visited us. Me and my teenage daughter had a long healthy discussion about planning our younger daughter's birthday party. My both daughters were there with  their inputs and ideas. I listened to them, showed my disagreement to some of them with my reasons and at last the plan came out which was agreed upon by all three of us. My friend sat throughout with us. When my daughters left, she told -"How can you be so patient and give them so importance?? With my son, we have been very clear that he has to follow what we say." She has a son of the same age of my daughter who is very obedient and goes with whatever the parents say. 

Well, I need no body to validate my parenting style. My husband and I chose for a style where children have to be happy and obedience and discipline has to come out of imitation of their parents and from their own inner motivation, and not from moral preaching or "Because I said so.."

I want your views -"Is an obedient child always a happy child?""


I am open to experience what life's mystery bag holds for me

www.arunimakunwar.blogspot.in

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  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    I don't believe so. Children must have a say. Raising objection and opposing a viewpoint do not mean that the child is ill mannered and disobedient. I believe if a child stays in a subdued manner and always as 'yes' parents then that can be also due to an extreme fear of massive verbal scolding and physical punishment. This cannot be a  sign of happiness.


    shampasaid


  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    I was never a obedient daughter, whatever that may be but have shared an excellent rapport with my mother. I make it a point to call her at leat every alternate day since she lives in Bangalore. It is the same with my three children who are extremely independent in their thinking and I wouldn't have it any other way since they are my best friends and other than my mother, I turn to my children when I need some advice..


    Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!


  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    I was also not an obedient child. I was very clear about my decision and choice so there were times when I opposed my parents and guardians. So what, I was a happy child and my relationship never strained my personal equation with the family members.


    shampasaid


  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    I guess it's just a way of bringing up kids.... everyone has their own way ...right or wtong....As long as the parents are not too strict... I think kids can be happy.... 

    I was an obedient kid but I was also happy... I always felt I need to listen and athere to my parents because they knw better... I never felt the need to think otherwise... 

    They also gave me enough freedom and independence... There was always a balance and a consensus in what needs to be done.


    Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated - Confucius


  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    I feel that giving space and freedom of choice in any relationship makes it a beautiful bonded relationship and thrives for longer. Otherwise it suffocates and succumbs in long run.


    I am open to experience what life's mystery bag holds for me

    www.arunimakunwar.blogspot.in


  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    Allowing the child to grow freely under the supervision of Parents will definitely lead to healthy relations. It happened in my children's case. We all are leading a happy and contented life.


  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    Shampa Sadhya wrote:

    I was also not an obedient child. I was very clear about my decision and choice so there were times when I opposed my parents and guardians. So what, I was a happy child and my relationship never strained my personal equation with the family members.

    At the end of the day that's what counts, how your personal equation is,with your parents and siblings. I had written about this incident earlier in another discussion, abt a mother and son living in my neighborhood. The son works in a manufacturing unit situated 20 kms from here. He was finding it difficult to commute to work since there are no direct buses and his mother wouldn't let him go on his two wheeler. He decided to look for a paying guest accommodation close to his office which led to a near battle with the mother crying and blaming him and her husband who had suggested it , while almost all the neighbors sided with him . Finally now he had to look for a small house close to his office where the mother too has gone. The father lives here and the lady keeps visiting here every two days . It is so stifling when mothers become so overbearing..


    Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!


  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    usha manohar wrote:
    Shampa Sadhya wrote:

    I was also not an obedient child. I was very clear about my decision and choice so there were times when I opposed my parents and guardians. So what, I was a happy child and my relationship never strained my personal equation with the family members.

    At the end of the day that's what counts, how your personal equation is,with your parents and siblings. I had written about this incident earlier in another discussion, abt a mother and son living in my neighborhood. The son works in a manufacturing unit situated 20 kms from here. He was finding it difficult to commute to work since there are no direct buses and his mother wouldn't let him go on his two wheeler. He decided to look for a paying guest accommodation close to his office which led to a near battle with the mother crying and blaming him and her husband who had suggested it , while almost all the neighbors sided with him . Finally now he had to look for a small house close to his office where the mother too has gone. The father lives here and the lady keeps visiting here every two days . It is so stifling when mothers become so overbearing..

    Totally agree. It has got a term "Over parenting"

    I just attended a workshop sometimes back. The speaker there was a Swiss. During his speech, he mirthfully commented -"In all other countries you become an adult at 21, but in India you become an adult only after your parents die". He said it on a lighter note and we all had a good laugh. But I think he had a point in the case you stated above.

     


    I am open to experience what life's mystery bag holds for me

    www.arunimakunwar.blogspot.in


  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    Arunima Singh wrote:
    usha manohar wrote:
    Shampa Sadhya wrote:

    I was also not an obedient child. I was very clear about my decision and choice so there were times when I opposed my parents and guardians. So what, I was a happy child and my relationship never strained my personal equation with the family members.

    At the end of the day that's what counts, how your personal equation is,with your parents and siblings. I had written about this incident earlier in another discussion, abt a mother and son living in my neighborhood. The son works in a manufacturing unit situated 20 kms from here. He was finding it difficult to commute to work since there are no direct buses and his mother wouldn't let him go on his two wheeler. He decided to look for a paying guest accommodation close to his office which led to a near battle with the mother crying and blaming him and her husband who had suggested it , while almost all the neighbors sided with him . Finally now he had to look for a small house close to his office where the mother too has gone. The father lives here and the lady keeps visiting here every two days . It is so stifling when mothers become so overbearing..

    Totally agree. It has got a term "Over parenting"

    I just attended a workshop sometimes back. The speaker there was a Swiss. During his speech, he mirthfully commented -"In all other countries you become an adult at 21, but in India you become an adult only after your parents die". He said it on a lighter note and we all had a good laugh. But I think he had a point in the case you stated above.

    I agree with what the Swiss Speaker said. But,  I do not agree with the Speaker's view that in India one becomes elder after the death of the Parents. Responsibilities may come irrespective of the age.

     


  • Re: Is an obedient child always a happy child??

    by » 6 years ago


    @ rambabu. Sir, I told that it was said in a mirthful way and on a lighter note. So please do not take it as an Universal truth.


    I am open to experience what life's mystery bag holds for me

    www.arunimakunwar.blogspot.in


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