Living life without expectations
What do we need from life......love, affection, prosperity, success, good health, education, recognition and so on. So our life is bound by numerous expectations and sometimes expectations go beyond our reach.
As a child we expect the best things from our parents. A child watches her friends in school and wants the same expensive toy that her friend is playing with. As we grow up, our parents want the best education and again wants us to achieve success and pursue the same profession that they have set up for us. We are again expected to behave in the best possible manner or in the manner that our elders expect us to behave. So we live in a society where there are certain norms and customs which we have to follow. It is as if we are bound by some rules that the society has led up for us. So we all have some standard goals in our life which we try to achieve.
We humans are all social beings and we all are bound by our relationships. There again comes our expectations. When we love someone we expect that person to love us unconditionally. We would want that person to be there for us all the time, to give us gifts, to celebrate our anniversaries, etc. This happens with every relationship we have in our life be it our parents, our friends, our relatives, our siblings, or even our pet dog. We want our boss to pat us on the shoulder and give us a hike in our salary. So our expectation goes on and on and on. With these expectations comes disappointment, anger, love, resentment, and hatred. So, do we expect too much from our lives or our relationships? Yes we do.
As our relationships grow, our expectations and our wants, which are sometimes even unrealistic take a toll in our lives. If we do not get what we want like even a simple gesture from our loved one can result in heartbreak and disappointment. We enjoy holding the other person responsible for the wrong done to us. For e.g. in a failed relationship, we always pinpoint on the shortcomings of the other person. We blame, condemn, and complain about the other person. There is a constant need in us to change, control, convince, or correct the person in our lives. We always tend to thrust our own choices and our own likes and dislikes on that person. We fail to understand that no two person are alike and we constantly try to find out similarities among ourselves. The moment we find the difference we fail to accept that person. The reason is simple. When we find the wrong in ourselves we do not like the fact of being responsible so it is always easy to blame the other person for our own misgivings.
We have expectations from ourselves too. Everybody wants to be successful. Everybody wants money. Everybody wants to be beautiful and acknowledged. So being a human being there are certain limitations. Not all people can be rich and famous, popular and beautiful all at the same time. Of course, there are lots and lots of people out there who are so, but why do we always have to be like them. There lies the question.
So how do we release ourselves from this series of expectations and have peace in life? It is quite simple.
Live a simple life
This is the key mantra. We should ask ourselves the root question that is what is the single-most important thing that we want from our life? Is it only money, beauty, or the big expensive car that our neighbor has or is it something else? What we really want from life is love, affection, support, and acknowledgment from the people we love the most. So we should focus on that instead of blaming, criticizing and judging people around us. We should consider that everybody has problems in their lives and nobody is perfect. We should ignore resentment and criticism from other people as much as possible because that will do no good to us. Instead, focus on giving love and support to people who are important to us.
Free yourself from too much of expectations
Too much of expectations leads to disappointment. If we anticipate too much of success or return from something we might get disheartened if the result is not up to the mark or not as we expected. So just relax and do your job. Life is not always easy and not always justified. Things happen in which we have no hand.
Accept your failures
We all make mistakes and we all stumble. We should consider that our mistakes are a part of our learning process. So we should accept our failures and move on with our lives.
Be kind to yourself and to others
When we expect too much from our loved ones, our friends or our relations we are bound to get hurt. We should also try to understand what the other person expects from us. How does the other person feel? So being compassionate, patient, and kind to others will help us to understand that everybody has limitations. It is impossible to satisfy everybody all the time. Feeling guilty and responsible for our shortcomings will only lead to demeaning ourselves and losing self confidence.
Living in the present and letting go of the past
Nobody has control over the past. It is gone. Whatever has happened has happened and now we can do nothing about it. We can go on and on with guilt, anger, resentment, blame, grudge and so on. But it will not bring back whatever we have lost. The only thing we can do is try to accept our past as a part of our life. If we hold too much of grudge for a person we will lose peace of our minds. So what is the use? So forgiveness also will help us to get over that grudge or disappointment that we have for that person. Live in the present and enjoy every moment you have. Time flies. Nobody can bind it. So every moment is precious. So make the best use of it.
We all have expectations. It is the most natural phenomenon. The point is to control and adjust our expectations. Being tolerant and understanding about other people's needs, desire, and expectations will make us more reasonable. Too much high desire and expectation will lead to anger and disappointment so a balance is needed. We should have goals and aspirations in life but we should also understand our limitations. In attending and achieving such goals we should not drift away from our relationships and give as much love and support to them. This will keep us grounded.
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