Persons are of three types – who want a lot of friends, a few friends or no friend at all. But the third group is very rare in this world who wants to remain lonely always. We can’t choose our parents, siblings or relatives. They are pre-decided and never come under our personal choices. It’s not the case of friends. We choose pals according to our personal interest, which suits us most. Friendships may be developed. But truth is that true relations, whether love or friends are just formed. When two persons with same angles and magnitude meet they may become friends sooner or later. Some give it name destiny while some others mere luck. But truth is that true friends are very difficult to find.

From where does friendship begin?

Man is a social animal and he can’t live alone. He needs to depend on others for food, shelter and other needs. That’s how relations develop – from the feeling that we can’t exist alone. Though we make friendship with others expecting something in return, it doesn’t mean we make friends only for our needs. Friends make our life alive and colourful. They add their own shades and flavours to our life. They make us feel our life worth and they show us, how we can change our negatives to positives. They can give guidance as well as advices and often forward a helping hand. How will a world appear if we live alone in our own loneliness, no fun, no joy or no get-togethers. It appears as if we are living in a lonely and dark planet isolated from everyone. So, not only for dependency, but also for happiness, safety and fun we choose friends. They can change our bad mood and relax our mind. Friendship is really a magical world and we are lucky if we are able to find at least one true friend whom we can say our own.

How persons choose their friends?

It depends on personal choices. Some people love to be in the midst of intellectual well educated, intelligent group while others find pleasure in the group of enjoyable persons. Some love friends having some creativity while others want artists to be their friend - singer, painter, dancer etc. Some people want friends who talk a lot while reserved people want social friends with whom they never mingle too much. So, there is some factor which binds two persons together. But in most cases, a smiling face and attractive personality gains friends easily. A true friend can’t be explained in a single word, phrase or sentence because each person’s perspective differs. Each person’s choices are different. When a good person wants a friend with good character, a thief searches a friend who can help him in stealing things. There lies the difference.

How should be my friend?

I just want a simple friend whom I can trust and depend upon. He need not be an intellectual fellow with a lot of knowledge. Most important is that he/she should be trust worth and who values me and my decisions. It’s not the case of me only. I am sure you also think the same way. We should feel comfort and easy while dealing with that person. Then only he can be called as our friend. Otherwise it remains as a corporate stuff or software product programmed to do things without using emotional intelligence. It’s not essential that we share everything with our friends. But most important is that what we share should be absolutely correct. A friendship should never stand on the basement laid by lies and faults. It’s true we may be mistaken in identifying true relations. But it doesn’t mean all people behave in the same way. Also, you two persons may be good but differ each other in amplitude and frequency; two persons with different tastes and contradictory opinions. So, it can’t be assumed that you two are right or you two are wrong or anyone of you is right. How much we are able to accept the differences and faults of the other person – there lies the real success of a relationship. We can’t correct each and every mistake of our friend. We also own many mistakes. So, better solution is to choose friends who can accept you with your faults, without changing them. Yet a true friend can advise you if you have any bad habit. It depends on the strength of relationship between these two persons.

Best friend according to me in a snapshot

Lovable: Love shown by your friend should never be fake. He need not love you too much, but what he shows must be real. It’s not necessary that true love is to be expressed. If mutual love and trust is present, no need to show off it every time – I firmly believe so. If you try to over-express it every time, it losses its natural charm for sure.

Trust is needed: No relationship can stand without trust. The day when a spark of doubt spills in a relationship, that day marks the ‘beginning of end’ of that relation.

Never hesitate to ask: Be simple and plain with your relationship. If any misunderstanding occurred, try to clear it instead of burying it in your mind. That single action of yours can burst out as a big volcano at any moment for sure. If you are a true friend, you will surely ask him directly, “why did you hurt me?” or”why did you do like this? I didn’t expect”

Mutual respect and acceptance: No relationship stands without mutual respect. It’s applicable in the case of friendship too. Friendship always happens between two persons of same level and the day which anyone feels inferior to other, an ego develops that will kill the relationship for sure. Also accept your friend with his defects. You can’t assume that your friend is the most perfect person in this world. With all those imperfections, when you accept him, he will like you in true means.

Secrets are to be kept: More than parents, siblings and relatives, we express our emotions, feelings and secrets to our friends. We think that they understand us more than anyone in this world. Never break that trust. If your friend has revealed a secret before you, keep it intact because your friend believes you most and it’s really a fortune to get such friends.

Full freedom: To whom do we express our full freedom? To our dear ones, right? To our spouse, kids and of course friends. If it’s a true friendship, we can show full freedom in them, can scold them for their mistakes, can take anything from them without asking and can do anything with them which we do with ourselves. Our friend never feels bad. Unfortunately, such relationships are very rare in this world.

No formality: Friends should never be kept as formal. Just be free while dealing with him. Never feel that I will loss him if I don’t do the help asked by him. If he is a true friend, he will understand your limitations.

Friend’s friend: We often feel jealous if we find another lovable friend for our friend. Why are we thinking so? Our mind is free and we can make friendship with anyone. Over-possessiveness can sometimes kill the relation. Possessiveness happens in excess love. Love is great and a pure emotion. But love should never be a burden. If we see our friend in a midst of another group, never feel jealous. Instead trust him/her and think that he will never leave our friendship.

Feel happiness with their success: If we are not feeling happy with our friend’s recent success can we remain true friends? Never. A true friend feels happy when we succeed and feels sad when we fall. Also, he lends his hand if it’s possible to get rid of that problem. That’s why it’s told – A friend in need is friend indeed and true friends can never feel jealous. I firmly believe so.

Less expectations: Never expect too much from a relationship. More expectations can give more pains too and if it's true friendship, we never expect anything in return.

Conclusion:

So, let me conclude. Real friends are rare in this world. But if we have a true mind, we can find some whom we can trust. For that, keep your mind clean. Friendships are just like fiddle strings that can break easily if trust is lost. So, be sincere in the relation and be loyal if you want to keep it green forever.


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