Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

Arunima Singh wrote:

Religion and rituals undergo a change with the change in the socio-economic scenario of a society. Awareness and change in mindset also plays an important role. Daughters coming forward for last ritual of parents shows a change in that mindset and can be seen as a positive step towards gender equality. But any religion or rituals can not be pushed down the throat of an individual and his/her personal choice and preference does matter. So it is the choice of the individual if he/she wants to come forward and perform it. Moreover, the way it has to be done also depends on the logic and understanding of the person concerned. 

Religion and ritual should not be pushed down the throat is an ideal statement but it is still very much poignant issue in our society. The daughters should have their own choice and no custom must have the right to stop them from performing the last rites. I can't accept the thought process of the daughters who believe that just because they are daughters they do not have the right to perform last rite and they ask any other male member to do so because they do not have their own brother. This is unacceptable in the 21st century. 

Shampa , if we look around , we see that we have had many women from India who have broken free from the age old traditional beliefs right from the days of Independence. India was one of the first nations to have a lady Prime Minister . We have had many ladies in prominent positions without being bound by any shackles of blind belief   . But the vast majority of middle class wants to hold on for reasons of their own. It is that class that is normally a deterrent to any kind of new ideas and progress.

You are absolutely right. The thought process of the middle class is quite threatening at times. I want to share a personal experience. Last November when I lost my brother, my niece came up and told my elder sister that she wanted to perform last rites of her father in a similar fashion as her brother would do. She said that her father never believed in gender discrimination so she would perform every rite. Instantly, everyone in the family encouraged her to do so. Both my nephew and niece are in early twenties and they completed every ritual together. I feel extremely proud of her decision while my two sisters and I did not think in this manner when we lost our parents. We too never faced any discrimination but still during that last phase we did not think like our niece did. My all the three brothers performed every rite. We participated in those rituals which were meant for us to do. 

That is really heartening to hear. When individual efforts are made they set an example to others . Most people wait for others to lead the way rather than take the initiative .

It's indeed heartening. She has really set a good example at a very young age. Let me share another info. On Fb I watched a video which was posted by my school friend. She and her other friends were all involved in organizing the Durga Puja of their club at Jamshedpur. A journalist was interviewing some of the ladies regarding what special thought they have acquired this puja. One of them opined a significant point. She stressed on the fact that Goddesses are worshiped for getting strength, wisdom, money, education and so on. Still, women are the abused lot. Adding to it she said that the gender discrimination will end only when every mother openly suggests that her last rites must be done by her daughter. 

It is the mindset that is developed in our society where men are given undue importance right from birth by women. I was watching a news clip today where they show a man trying to molest a lady almost dead in the recent stampede at Mumbai Railway station. One wonders what kind of a creature is he? and more importantly , if the roles were reversed and if a woman came across a dying man will she even think of molesting him? 

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

Arunima Singh wrote:

Religion and rituals undergo a change with the change in the socio-economic scenario of a society. Awareness and change in mindset also plays an important role. Daughters coming forward for last ritual of parents shows a change in that mindset and can be seen as a positive step towards gender equality. But any religion or rituals can not be pushed down the throat of an individual and his/her personal choice and preference does matter. So it is the choice of the individual if he/she wants to come forward and perform it. Moreover, the way it has to be done also depends on the logic and understanding of the person concerned. 

Religion and ritual should not be pushed down the throat is an ideal statement but it is still very much poignant issue in our society. The daughters should have their own choice and no custom must have the right to stop them from performing the last rites. I can't accept the thought process of the daughters who believe that just because they are daughters they do not have the right to perform last rite and they ask any other male member to do so because they do not have their own brother. This is unacceptable in the 21st century. 

Shampa , if we look around , we see that we have had many women from India who have broken free from the age old traditional beliefs right from the days of Independence. India was one of the first nations to have a lady Prime Minister . We have had many ladies in prominent positions without being bound by any shackles of blind belief   . But the vast majority of middle class wants to hold on for reasons of their own. It is that class that is normally a deterrent to any kind of new ideas and progress.

You are absolutely right. The thought process of the middle class is quite threatening at times. I want to share a personal experience. Last November when I lost my brother, my niece came up and told my elder sister that she wanted to perform last rites of her father in a similar fashion as her brother would do. She said that her father never believed in gender discrimination so she would perform every rite. Instantly, everyone in the family encouraged her to do so. Both my nephew and niece are in early twenties and they completed every ritual together. I feel extremely proud of her decision while my two sisters and I did not think in this manner when we lost our parents. We too never faced any discrimination but still during that last phase we did not think like our niece did. My all the three brothers performed every rite. We participated in those rituals which were meant for us to do. 

That is really heartening to hear. When individual efforts are made they set an example to others . Most people wait for others to lead the way rather than take the initiative .

It's indeed heartening. She has really set a good example at a very young age. Let me share another info. On Fb I watched a video which was posted by my school friend. She and her other friends were all involved in organizing the Durga Puja of their club at Jamshedpur. A journalist was interviewing some of the ladies regarding what special thought they have acquired this puja. One of them opined a significant point. She stressed on the fact that Goddesses are worshiped for getting strength, wisdom, money, education and so on. Still, women are the abused lot. Adding to it she said that the gender discrimination will end only when every mother openly suggests that her last rites must be done by her daughter. 

It is the mindset that is developed in our society where men are given undue importance right from birth by women. I was watching a news clip today where they show a man trying to molest a lady almost dead in the recent stampede at Mumbai Railway station. One wonders what kind of a creature is he? and more importantly , if the roles were reversed and if a woman came across a dying man will she even think of molesting him? 

Simply sickening! Day by day such action is taking place more and more. Actually, what I feel is these kind of men are urge driven and they need to learn lesson. Women will never cross this limit but men have no limit so it will be futile to compare men and women. 

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

Arunima Singh wrote:

Religion and rituals undergo a change with the change in the socio-economic scenario of a society. Awareness and change in mindset also plays an important role. Daughters coming forward for last ritual of parents shows a change in that mindset and can be seen as a positive step towards gender equality. But any religion or rituals can not be pushed down the throat of an individual and his/her personal choice and preference does matter. So it is the choice of the individual if he/she wants to come forward and perform it. Moreover, the way it has to be done also depends on the logic and understanding of the person concerned. 

Religion and ritual should not be pushed down the throat is an ideal statement but it is still very much poignant issue in our society. The daughters should have their own choice and no custom must have the right to stop them from performing the last rites. I can't accept the thought process of the daughters who believe that just because they are daughters they do not have the right to perform last rite and they ask any other male member to do so because they do not have their own brother. This is unacceptable in the 21st century. 

Shampa , if we look around , we see that we have had many women from India who have broken free from the age old traditional beliefs right from the days of Independence. India was one of the first nations to have a lady Prime Minister . We have had many ladies in prominent positions without being bound by any shackles of blind belief   . But the vast majority of middle class wants to hold on for reasons of their own. It is that class that is normally a deterrent to any kind of new ideas and progress.

You are absolutely right. The thought process of the middle class is quite threatening at times. I want to share a personal experience. Last November when I lost my brother, my niece came up and told my elder sister that she wanted to perform last rites of her father in a similar fashion as her brother would do. She said that her father never believed in gender discrimination so she would perform every rite. Instantly, everyone in the family encouraged her to do so. Both my nephew and niece are in early twenties and they completed every ritual together. I feel extremely proud of her decision while my two sisters and I did not think in this manner when we lost our parents. We too never faced any discrimination but still during that last phase we did not think like our niece did. My all the three brothers performed every rite. We participated in those rituals which were meant for us to do. 

That is really heartening to hear. When individual efforts are made they set an example to others . Most people wait for others to lead the way rather than take the initiative .

It's indeed heartening. She has really set a good example at a very young age. Let me share another info. On Fb I watched a video which was posted by my school friend. She and her other friends were all involved in organizing the Durga Puja of their club at Jamshedpur. A journalist was interviewing some of the ladies regarding what special thought they have acquired this puja. One of them opined a significant point. She stressed on the fact that Goddesses are worshiped for getting strength, wisdom, money, education and so on. Still, women are the abused lot. Adding to it she said that the gender discrimination will end only when every mother openly suggests that her last rites must be done by her daughter. 

It is the mindset that is developed in our society where men are given undue importance right from birth by women. I was watching a news clip today where they show a man trying to molest a lady almost dead in the recent stampede at Mumbai Railway station. One wonders what kind of a creature is he? and more importantly , if the roles were reversed and if a woman came across a dying man will she even think of molesting him? 

Simply sickening! Day by day such action is taking place more and more. Actually, what I feel is these kind of men are urge driven and they need to learn lesson. Women will never cross this limit but men have no limit so it will be futile to compare men and women. 

We have examples of both sickening and progressive mindsets in our society. With awareness and education along with empowerment of individual irrespective of gender would surely bring an increase in the progressive mindset. It is a long way to go but change will definitely happen. Mothers have to be proactive in this movement, empowering their children and bringing them up as humans and not as boys or girls.

Arunima Singh wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

Arunima Singh wrote:

Religion and rituals undergo a change with the change in the socio-economic scenario of a society. Awareness and change in mindset also plays an important role. Daughters coming forward for last ritual of parents shows a change in that mindset and can be seen as a positive step towards gender equality. But any religion or rituals can not be pushed down the throat of an individual and his/her personal choice and preference does matter. So it is the choice of the individual if he/she wants to come forward and perform it. Moreover, the way it has to be done also depends on the logic and understanding of the person concerned. 

Religion and ritual should not be pushed down the throat is an ideal statement but it is still very much poignant issue in our society. The daughters should have their own choice and no custom must have the right to stop them from performing the last rites. I can't accept the thought process of the daughters who believe that just because they are daughters they do not have the right to perform last rite and they ask any other male member to do so because they do not have their own brother. This is unacceptable in the 21st century. 

Shampa , if we look around , we see that we have had many women from India who have broken free from the age old traditional beliefs right from the days of Independence. India was one of the first nations to have a lady Prime Minister . We have had many ladies in prominent positions without being bound by any shackles of blind belief   . But the vast majority of middle class wants to hold on for reasons of their own. It is that class that is normally a deterrent to any kind of new ideas and progress.

You are absolutely right. The thought process of the middle class is quite threatening at times. I want to share a personal experience. Last November when I lost my brother, my niece came up and told my elder sister that she wanted to perform last rites of her father in a similar fashion as her brother would do. She said that her father never believed in gender discrimination so she would perform every rite. Instantly, everyone in the family encouraged her to do so. Both my nephew and niece are in early twenties and they completed every ritual together. I feel extremely proud of her decision while my two sisters and I did not think in this manner when we lost our parents. We too never faced any discrimination but still during that last phase we did not think like our niece did. My all the three brothers performed every rite. We participated in those rituals which were meant for us to do. 

That is really heartening to hear. When individual efforts are made they set an example to others . Most people wait for others to lead the way rather than take the initiative .

It's indeed heartening. She has really set a good example at a very young age. Let me share another info. On Fb I watched a video which was posted by my school friend. She and her other friends were all involved in organizing the Durga Puja of their club at Jamshedpur. A journalist was interviewing some of the ladies regarding what special thought they have acquired this puja. One of them opined a significant point. She stressed on the fact that Goddesses are worshiped for getting strength, wisdom, money, education and so on. Still, women are the abused lot. Adding to it she said that the gender discrimination will end only when every mother openly suggests that her last rites must be done by her daughter. 

It is the mindset that is developed in our society where men are given undue importance right from birth by women. I was watching a news clip today where they show a man trying to molest a lady almost dead in the recent stampede at Mumbai Railway station. One wonders what kind of a creature is he? and more importantly , if the roles were reversed and if a woman came across a dying man will she even think of molesting him? 

Simply sickening! Day by day such action is taking place more and more. Actually, what I feel is these kind of men are urge driven and they need to learn lesson. Women will never cross this limit but men have no limit so it will be futile to compare men and women. 

We have examples of both sickening and progressive mindsets in our society. With awareness and education along with empowerment of individual irrespective of gender would surely bring an increase in the progressive mindset. It is a long way to go but change will definitely happen. Mothers have to be proactive in this movement, empowering their children and bringing them up as humans and not as boys or girls.

I very strongly appreciate your last statement. It is indeed required and then the next generation may see the changes which we desire to see in the society. Mothers need to be very strong and stand by their daughters then only in the later years they can extend a strong support to their daughters in law. Discrimination should stop in the family first and gradually the whole society will see the required changes.